Who is This?

After my transplant I was looking in the mirror at the apartment we were staying in close the hospital.

We needed to be close very close to the hospital just in case rejection happened and I needed to get there within minutes.

I stared into the mirror, drained, forlorn and wondered aloud “Who is this?”.

This was not me. Not who I wanted to be. In and out of hospitals for years, taking a ton of medication daily, unable to do what I want due to my illness, fragile…

I captured the moment to remember where I was at this point. Physically as well as psychologically. And use this knowledge every day for the rest of my life to do better.

chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-84-cover-12262018

Who is this: Finished?

I finished up the extra items in front of the mirror and currently I can’t see anything that I want to change but I haven’t sat with the painting for a bit.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-71-cover-12132018

Who is this: Abdomen

A flat expanse of skin with a lot of subtle transitions in value and color. I’m working hard to see the small changes and inject some interest in the texture.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-70-cover-12122018

Who is this: Hand Done?

I think I’m finished with the right hand, I’m not totally sure as I will review the photos in this post and have a lot of time looking at it while working on the rest of the painting.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-67-cover-12092018

Who is this: Hand

I moved to working on the hand for my right arm. I didn’t finish the arm completely I just felt like working on the hand.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-59-cover-11292018

Who is this: Head Done

I haven’t sent the last 10 or so posts to subscribers or social media because I’m working so slowly, but today I’m done with the head.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-56-cover-11262018

Who is this: Neck

For this session I worked on my neck. I’m very close to finishing the head of this self portrait. But there is still a long road ahead.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-51-cover-11212018

Who is this: Mouth

I’m in the process of repainting my mouth, the drawing was way off but I still have a lot to adjust before I’m happy with it.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-49-cover-11192018

Who is this: Nose Fixes

I made some more drawing fixes to my nose but as I look at it again I’m not sure it is correct and will spend at least another session on it.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-47-cover-11162018

Who is this: Eyes Done?

I think I have finished the eyes, I’m never 100% sure because I still have a lot left to do in this painting and I may go back and make changes.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-45-cover-11142018

Who is this: Big Changes

I’m unhappy with the left eye it looks incorrect. In this session I painted over most of the eye and changed up the drawing significantly. I may have to do it again.

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-42-cover-11112018

Who is this: Confused

I started today’s session confused on what to do, even though I’m working very slowly on this I’m still having trouble starting on something…

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chris-beaven-oil-who-is-this-41-cover-11092018

Who is this: Patience

I’m not liking how the portrait is coming along so I keep going over what I did on the previous session. I need more patience as it will take time.

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